Friday, December 3, 2010

A first...and hopefully a last

Dental hygiene never seemed so gag worthy as today...when I saw someone flossing their teeth on the L. Oooooh sick.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

It's the most wonderful?!?!?! time of the year.

All the heat lamps are on at each train platform. The appearance of down parkas has become the norm. The forecast mentions a chance of snow...and we're all reminded just how depressing it is to head to work in the dark.

Tis the season where I take the bus four blocks to the train because I'm too cold to walk the extra seven minutes.

It's the time of year where I sit much closer than is socially accepted no matter how crowded the train is, just to steal a little bit of warmth from my neighbor. Creepy, I know, but I seek to present you with an honest account of my CTA dealings at all times.

Pretty soon, we'll all be huddled around a heat lamp on the platform trying to avoid the cold, dark morning and remember winter doesn't last forever...just through March. Sometimes April. It's Chicago. 

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Winter Goals

My goal is to see at least one person wearing a Snuggie on the L this winter.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Holy Crowds, CTA

I was reminded today how people don't actually know how to be aware of the space around them. I don't feel like I take up a significant amount of space when I'm standing...though I'm generally offered much less space than I'd like. Today I got pushed over a few times. It was weird...I'm not awake enough on my train ride in to stand my ground. Literally. I pretty much fell over.

Aside from the reminder that gravity is my enemy, I got to see this lady who annoys me to DEATH but is my favorite character of all time. I'm not sure if I've written about her before, but if I haven't, I've certainly meant to.

She is about a foot shorter than I am, never, ever smiles, and is the most aggressive CTA rider I've ever seen. In five years I've not seen anyone like this. She uses her height to her advantage and sneaks through the crowd to get right up to the front of the line to board the train, standing in the direct middle of where the doors will open. No one can get off until she gets on, and no one can get on with her, even though there is room enough for two people to board at once normally. She then plants herself as close to the doors as possible, stopping all traffic flow...because she has to be the first off the train at her stop.

It's sooooooo entertaining to watch but really irritating, too, because seriously, we're all getting on a train that has standing room only. There's not really a better standing spot. And the train isn't going to leave without you, lady. The conductor is onto you and your crazy skillz. Your determination is admirable.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Overheard on the subway

"Did you accidentally kill someone?"

Well, this is disconcerting.

My stop wasn't even next.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Hippo Hats and Christina Applegate

For two days in a row, the CTA has loved me dearly. Anytime I need a bus or train, I walk up just at the perfect time to catch one. There has always been a seat or a perfect place to stand,  and it's been a leisurely and uneventful ride. Sad for my blogging, but happy for me. The CTA loves me...and that kind of freaks me out. A lot. It's like the CTA is buttering me up for something TERRIBLE. Oh man.

Today there was an old man wearing a hat with an airbrushed picture of a hippo on it. I loved that hat.

There was a lady who got on the train who looked like Christina Applegate a little. I assume she was with her mother, who also looked a little like Ms. Applegate. The daughter kept glaring at everyone around her, and at one point she grabbed her mom's hand and pointed out that she needed a manicure.

At least, that's what I assumed she said. I was at the other end of the train car, making up their conversation in my head. Maybe that's not normal to do? Oh well. Normal is relative, I suppose.

This is a side note, and only commuter related because it took place at Starbucks. I was standing in line trying not to tap my foot (I have to coach myself on acceptable behavior sometimes). The lady in front of me was ordering her beverage, and at the same time, was rearranging the gift cards that sit out front of the register. I don't think she realized she was doing it...just...compulsively rearranging these cards over and over and over again. It was strange. And now I will always think of that any time I purchase a gift card for anyone at Starbucks. "I wonder how many people have rearranged this?"

Also noteworthy: The sign on the subway for the Disney store. Their slogan: "Adventure awaits you." Someone wrote under the slogan  "in prison, so pay your taxes."

I think a valuable lesson can be learned by all. Pay your taxes. Wear a hippo hat. And, make sure to point out how desperately your mother needs a manicure.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Hats and Eyelash Curlers

Wearing a hat that says "American GrassFed Beef" kind of stands out in Chicago. You were an odd man, sir.

It doesn't matter that I'm a woman and have used an eyelash curler before...they are a terrifying instrument and never cease to horrify me whenever I see one being used...on the subway...with a cell phone as a mirror. My goodness, woman, get up five minutes earlier and curl your eyelashes at home. You're freakin us all out here!