Thursday, September 30, 2010

It was a race

Car vs. Bike

Guess who won?

It's Chicago and King Daley (whoops. Mayor Daley) wants us all to know how bicycle friendly we are.

The bike beat us.


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I don't really want to know

...why I saw a pair of men's underwear laying on the sidewalk today on the way to the train.

I just...don't...want to think about it.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I'd like to request we ride express.

The subway was stalled for a total of 97 seconds yesterday.

This aggravated one passenger in particular.

The next time the doors opened, he stepped off the train and approached the driver.

"I'd like to request we ride express, as I am already late due to your delay."

Riding express would require skipping six other stops in the mean time.

The driver politely declined, the passenger remained disgruntled, and I was thoroughly amused.

I didn't know I was on HIS timetable today. Funny.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Blind as a Bat

Eh. I didn't ride the CTA this morning, but I did hang out on the Kennedy expressway for a bit.

On the ride into work this morning, I kept asking Nathan if he could see ok to drive. It was horribly fuzzy out. Then I realized not only is "fuzzy" not an actual weather condition, but I also didn't have my contacts in. I think Nathan shook his head at me and told me to close my eyes.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Gum Chewers

It is socially unacceptable to put your hand next to someone's chin and say "Spit out your gum, now, please."

I reminded myself of how socially unacceptable this was when the gum chomper next to me was determined to drive me off the train.

There are worse things, I suppose...but gum chomping at 7am is pretty bad. If it's loud enough to be heard in a crowded are chewing too loud.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Overheard on the subway...

"So are you still doing the lawyer thing?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm still a lawyer. Have four kids now, too."
"Wow. Four? I have a son. He's 7. or 8. 8. Yeah. He's 8."
"My beautiful little girl is 12 now. More like...evil and angsty. That's gonna be fun."

hahahahahahaha. Ahhh dads. Speaking the truth.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Well, CTA, You Win.

You win the Rudeness Awards.
I am so disappointed in humanity today. It's so sad.

This morning, everyone on the CTA wins the Rudeness Award.
To the bus driver who called a passenger an idiot:
You, sir, win the Rudeness Award for Rude and Inappropriate Responses While on the Job.
(poor man must have pulled the emergency stop handle or something-I didn't quite see-which, is dangerous and you are not supposed to do, but it sounded like he didn't quite understand you are supposed to pull the cord by the window not the red handle above the door. He was very confused and stammered an apology before getting off the bus after the driver yelled "WHY DID YOU DO THAT, YOU IDIOT?" First of all, it is NEVER, EVER ok to call anyone a name, especially in public, and even though we seem to think in our culture that we are entitled to raise our voices anytime we please, it is selfish and rude). So congratulations bus driver. You are horrible.

To the four men directly facing a pregnant woman while seated:
You with the Rudeness Award for Didn't Your Mother Raise You Better Than That?
She had two large bags with her and was clearly pregnant. Not in the "if I offer her a seat will she be offended because she thinks I'm calling her fat?" way, but in the "if you're not pregnant, then you are hiding a basketball under your dress" way. Gentlemen, offer your seats. Guess what, even if she wasn't pregnant, it is still polite to offer your seat to a lady, especially if she has luggage with her. Your kindness would not go unnoticed and anyone who would be offended by that politeness should be disregarded and it be understood that they are not the norm. It is simply polite. And you four were looking straight at her. There is no way you couldn't have seen that she needed a seat. Come on men, step up.

To the two very tall men who felt it necessary to stretch their legs out across the aisle on the purple line:
You two win the Rudeness Award for This Is Not Your Living Room.
I know you are tall. I know you have long legs. But you need to move them so that people can properly board and exit the train.

To the exit blockers:
You win the Rudeness Award for Refusing To Be Aware of Your Surroundings.
You cause people to push and shove and raise their voices so they can get off the train thus perpetuating the trend of rudeness and the need for Rudeness Awards, just because you have forgotten to take a quick look around to see if anyone might need to get past you when you are STANDING IN FRONT OF THE DOORS.

To the truck that blew the stop sign while I was in the crosswalk:
You win the Rudeness Award for Failing to Follow the Traffic Laws.
Do they not apply to you? Do you feel it is ok to speed up when you see a pedestrian?

This year's Rudeness Award Ceremony will be conducted at Clark and Lake, as we all stand on the escalators and block the turn styles while gobs and gobs of people try to make it onto the Blue Line. I find it only fitting.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

66, you are a joke

Today there were two of you, one right behind the other. The first was FULL. The second nearly passed me by, then honked the horn because I apparently didn't board the bus fast enough.

Dear Bus Driver,
I cannot board your bus until the doors are open. Don't be a jerk.

Then the Blue Line proclaimed its undying love to me today by taking much, much longer than usual. I guess the Blue Line missed me.

Oh CTA. Relationships take work. I feel I do most of it in this one, though.
Like sitting next to the smelly people.
I'll be glad when it's freezing. It acts like deodorant for those who don't actually wear it.

Thursday, September 2, 2010


The last couple of days I have noticed a trend. People who stand directly in the middle of the aisle, of the platform, of the sidewalk. They are walking towards you. They make eye contact. They knowwww you are walking in their direction. They fake left, they dodge right and then...they STAND. They stand and look at you all irritated when you try to redirect and almost run into them.

Also I heard someone refer to a third party in their phone conversation (which they were yelling into their cell phone) as "Baby Doll." That was her name. Baby Doll.

The bus had to shut off the ignition and turn it back on again--happens on occasion. The person screaming into their cell phone also screamed: "The bus died. I'm about to walk." The second the bus turned off.

I was about to walk because she was screaming into her cell phone. Manners people. Manners.