I can't believe I just saw that!

I saw a gentleman on the bus today. He was wearing a jean jacket vest. I call it a jean jacket vest because it was clear it used to be a jean jacket, but he had modified it to fit his personality by cutting off the sleeves. He had full tattoo sleeves. He also had a mullet like I had never seen before. A mullet...complete with dreadlocks. Kill me now.

There is a girl that rides my bus every morning. She needs to set her alarm for five minutes earlier. I wouldn't normally comment on people who rush or run late because I am perpetually five minutes late everywhere I go, but this is a little ridiculous. She runs like mad up to the bus, often flagging it down in between stops. She then THROWS her giant handbag on the floor of the bus, crouches down to dig for her wallet, then tries to steady herself while the bus pulls away and she searches for her CTA card. She then walks down the aisle, plops into a seat breathing heavily with her mouth open, and proceeds to put on way too much makeup to look natural. She really stresses me out. Just watching the ordeal every morning sends me into a slight panic.

Speaking of slight panic...I switched my route around again because I am just as easily bored as I am entertained. When I go to switch lines, there are always two ladies outside the station handing out Red Eye papers. I say "handing out" when I really mean hurling them at people or standing directly in front of them forcing them to take a red eye paper with them. Now, I enjoy the publication as much as the next girl, but at 7:15 in the morning, I can't handle someone shoving a paper into my hands while I'm digging for my CTA card. Listen, you scary ladies, I'll take a red eye when I get off at my stop. You freak me out too much. Good luck.

Last but not least....I saw a man today whose pants were not covering what they were supposed to cover. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Thank you for medicating

Do you remember this gentleman?
Guess who made a surprise appearance on the 76 bus this morning?
He assured me he had taken his medication this morning.
How delightful.

To the gentleman next to me

It really weirds me out that you were pulling out your beard. That is all. Good night, sir.

Rocking out to your own soundtrack

Today, this adorable dude on the bus decided he was going to have his very own dance party. He had his headphones in and it went a little something like this:
"So I put my hands up
They're playing my song,
And the butterflies fly away
Noddin' my head like yeah
Moving my hips like yeah,
And I got my hands up,
They're playin my song
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeah, It's a party on the CTA
Yeah, It's a party on the CTA"

Just sayin' my friend...be aware of your surroundings...

or...I'm glad you're that confident in yourself. 

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!

She said, as the conductor announced we would be standing for two or three minutes. She doesn't have time to wait two or three minutes on the train. I feel sorry for her, she must never get a break. It's two minutes.

Today was awesome band t shirt day. I saw someone wearing a Pedro the Lion shirt this morning and thought, "This is great! I love that band! No one really knows them anymore!" and then, just when I thought it couldn't get any better, I saw someone wearing a shirt that said "The Decemberists." Amazing. That just doesn't happen.

Today as I took a rare seat on the train on my way into work this morning, I noticed a raisin on my seat. How happy I was that I noticed the raisin...that would have been a tragic. . .

In my list of reasons for not riding the bus at 10am on a Wednesday:

The following conversation took place between a man...and himself.

"Sometimes the medication I'm on makes me drowsy. I can't take naps. Napping isn't good. It throws off your sleep schedule. My father used to take naps on Sundays after dinner. It's not good to go to sleep with your belly full. It all turns to fat. All these people eat big meals and then go to sleep. Nothing but blubber. BLUBBER! Before you know it you're as big as a house. Please don't hit me in the face!"

That's about as much context as I can give you, it was that priceless.

I could have reported about myself

On Sunday there was quite a long wait for the Blue Line...so...since I had just stopped at CVS and bought some new nailpolish, I made use of the time.

The girl painting her nails at the (insert Blue Line stop of your choice) on Sunday? That was me. I'm not ashamed of it one bit.