Missed Connections

Occasionally I browse the "Missed Connections" files on Craig's List. Good old fashioned stalking never hurt anyone, right? I mean, MC is a place for people to profess their undying love and allow themselves to think for a moment that their very own missed connection peruses these files in hopes of finding that one person who stared at them inappropriately in Starbucks the other day, because clearly, it's a moment worthy of a Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie remake.

Get real.

Although today, I felt as though I was becoming someone's missed connection on my way home.

Here is what I expect to find later tonight on MC.

"Brown line-loop-m4w
I saw you as you got on the train at (insert stop here). Our eyes met. You looked away quickly, but then gave me a half smile. I know you are probably shy, but I think we have something.
You were wearing (lavish compliment describing my amazing coat that I love) and carrying your (bold color description) handbag. You have lovely (exotic description of my eye color) and your hair reminded me of (strange reference to an obscure actress's hairstyle). I'm sure you were just getting off of work, we are all ready for the weekend.

You'll probably never read this, but I'd like to see your smile again. Message me and tell me what I was wearing. I know it's the beginning of true love."

Then you'll see:
"Re: Brown line-loop
I saw you too. I didn't sit next to you on purpose. You weren't bad looking or anything, but I didn't like your insistent eye contact and full smile. I half smiled because I didn't want to be rude. I'm buying a new coat now, and will no longer carry that handbag. You're in luck because this weekend I'm visiting my eye doctor and getting colored contacts. I plan to stop by the hair salon immediately after. I was getting off of work, but I'm changing my hours, my place of employment, and my route. Yes, we are all ready for the weekend.

I only read this for entertainment. If I see your smile again, I'll have nightmares. I don't remember what you were wearing because I'm not creepy. It's not true love, I don't love you.

Have a great weekend!"

Yeah. I'm pretty sure it would go a little something like that.