Get rid of those sideburns.

Really.
Mutton chops haven't been in for a very long time, so get rid of those sideburns please.

That means you, strange person with hair down to your elbows and really awkward sideburns. I don't understand why you kept looking my direction. I only made eye contact to remind you that I was not afraid of you, not because I wanted you to ask for my number. Thank you, though, for not asking for my number.

And yes, I saw you look through the window after you got off the train, and you still creeped me out. Ugh. You live in my neighborhood too. Awesome. Awesome.

Get rid of the sideburns. No one can take you seriously.