Nuggets of wisdom

Two things:
Do NOT make eye contact with the person talking to their self. Do NOT pass go, and do NOT collect $200.


Second:
CTA time is like dog years. Multiply your minutes by seven....or something like that.

Lies. All lies. (Standard text messaging fees apply).

CTA Bustracker, you are a liar. You fill me with hope that I've timed my route just perfectly in the morning, and then pull the rug out from under me when I hit "refresh." Do not tell me my bus will be here in ten minutes if it really is going to show up in four.

Lies lies lies.

Fashion Forward

Before I begin: there is one time when it is o.k. to have a backpack. When that back pack is actually a child carrier and your child is the cutest little kid I've ever seen, it's totally acceptable.

O.k. I have to tell you about the fashion show on the bus today.
Two girls. 80s rock star hair. Meaning...one side was short, the other was long and it was hot pink. It was amazing.

Also, a lady wearing a fur coat and fur hat. I actually thought the hat was part of her hair and I gasped audibly...then I realized it was a hat. Didn't change my reaction.


Finally (and at first I didn't realize how odd this was, because in my hometown, people shop at Farm and Fleet and that's totally acceptable attire for going out...) a man in a one piece snow suit...that was hunting camouflaged. Didn't know there were so many deer on the CTA????

Tuesday with Marlo Thomas

First, the bus driver smiled and said "Hi" this morning. Mission. Accomplished.

There was a man on the bus today having a very lively conversation with himself. He talked about girls who drive sexy cars (like a Sierra pick up truck...not kidding). He talked about all the pretty girls on the bus. He also talked about Marlo Thomas, rattling off a stream of facts about her.

I just looked her up on Wikipedia. He was right on with everything he said. Soooo Random.

Sorry to be polite...

I really miss "my" bus driver. She was nice. She said good morning. She was really cheerful and I looked forward to riding her bus.

Lately (save this morning, because it was a different bus) the bus driver will not even make eye contact with me let alone smile.

What's a girl to do?

Smile bigger and cheerier. I'll either win by getting him to say good morning to me...or annoy him so badly that he doesn't let me on the bus. Stay tuned...

"I hope that's not all you got her for Valentine's day!"

Riding the bus this morning, the driver said "Happy Valentine's Day" to me. Awww. How sweet. He talked to himself as he drove though, which took away a little bit of the warm fuzzies...

A gentleman who had obviously done some of his grocery shopping this morning was on the bus. A lady boarded and commented, "Toilet paper!" (He had a large package of tp with him...) As if that weren't crazy enough...she proceeded to say "I just LOVE toilet paper."

Wow.

She followed it with "I hope that's not all you bought her for Valentine's day!"

Two stops later she left. But she LOVES toilet paper...

Confessions

Sometimes, I use the CTA as a place to "window shop."

Tonight I saw a really great handbag and a pair of shoes I simply cannot live without, all thanks to the CTA.

Don't worry, by "cannot live without" I mean "I think those are really cute!" not "I think I'll take those from the people who actually own them."

Didn't want to confuse anyone. I'm not the one they make the "See something, say something" posters about. I PROMISE.

Buy a shovel...or a pair of skates

I have learned many valuable things this winter. I would like to share them with you.

1. Wearing a coat that could double as a sleeping bag is brilliant, no matter how ugly it makes you feel.
2. Long underwear. Enough said.
3. Some bus drivers are nicer than others.
4. When the CTA said they were going to cut schedules...they meant it.
5. CTA updates by text are convenient, but bring out the neurotic tendencies in me.
6. When it snows in Chicago, it REALLY snows.
7. Chicago does not value clearing the roads
8. Sometimes, a snowbank that looks harmless enough will soak you clear up to your knees.
9. Have I mentioned Chicago doesn't plow?
10. If the sidewalks aren't cleared soon, they are going to ice over until March. I'm investing in some skates.

Family Reunion

First of all, a PSA for the CTA riders:
If you're wearing a backpack BE SELF AWARE. Don't hit people in the face. They won't say anything, but they'll blog about it later.
//end PSA.

"Excuse me, sir?" The lady sitting in the very first seat on the bus said as she tugged on his coat.

He was a very tall man, bundled up for the 12 degree weather (At least it's double digits today). "Yes?" He was a little confused, and like most CTA riders, didn't really plan on engaging in conversation with strangers on the bus.

"You look just like my brother!" She exclaimed, over and over. "You look just like my brother, Adam. You look just like my brother. I'm going to see him in a week. Bye!"

Strange enough.

You think your life is bad?

I carried a gallon of milk home tonight in this ridiculous snow. The bus was a little bit crowded...some lady with pink hair tried to push me out of my seat...things like that. I was throwing myself a little pity party (my boots soaked through, my mascara was running, I looked pitiful, etc. etc. boo hoo hoo) until..........

I saw a man get on the bus carrying three bowling balls.

He wins.

I will never whine about the commute again. Things could be worse.

2 Days After the CTA Apocalypse

Two days after what sounded like the CTA Apocalypse....here is my recap.

(I will need to preface with this: The last time I lived in a city other than Chicago was outside the United States. The public transit system changed frequently. "Why, however did they handle it?" you might ask. I will tell you.

Everyone went on strike. The city stopped moving, and you just didn't get very far if you had to rely on public transportation.

My perspective might be a little different on these CTA cuts...because...well...everything still runs, however inconvenient the schedule may be.)

Sunday was a little boring. By boring I mean...waiting for forever for the bus was really boring. At least there was sun.

Monday I left ten minutes early after hovering over Bus Tracker while I got ready for work. I arrived at work early, and even had a place to sit on the bus and train. I thought to myself "This won't be so bad."

I boarded the train Monday evening and everything was as normal as could be. (Normal is relative, this you should all know already). I even exited the train to walk right up to the bus I needed! That NEVER happens! "Maybe the CTA is working in my favor and now LOVES me," I thought.

Then I actually boarded the bus. It was the most awkward bus I'd seen. It had one bench seat facing opposite of everything else. It was the only seat, and the standing room was crowded, so I took it.

Big. Mistake.

I wound up staring at about six people with no good place to look. It was unfortunate. I turned so I was facing the aisle, and just when I thought things couldn't get any more uncomfortable...

...The man next to me put his arm around my shoulder.

I took the next available seat immediately.

Ew. Ew. Ew.

This morning I heard on the news that CTA was recommending we leave 45-60 minutes early for our commute.

I don't get up in time to leave that early. I left ten minutes early.

The bus was packed before 7, which wouldn't be an issue if I hadn't: (multiple choice question to follow...)
a)Given up caffeine this week
b)been hit in the face with an elbow
c)been hit in the face in a backpack
d)been hit in the face with an umbrella
e)all of the above

For those of you who also suffer from option "a" the correct answer to the multiple choice problem is e)all of the above.

Fantastic.

Happy Tuesday!